Bethany+Blumenshine

Genre Reflection

**Inner Thoughts of a Pre-Service Teacher**

Waking up at six am is the hardest part Wiping the sleep from my eyes, signaling good-bye to my dreams, That is the time when raw fear, nerves and doubt pervade my mind. There is no music to distract me There is no road rage to occupy my mind and mouth There are no friendly conversations to divert my psyche There is just raw fear, nerves and doubts.

Gearing up at 7:45 am is the hardest part Washing yesterday off the board, signaling good-bye to what is known That is the time when raw fear, nerves and doubts pervade my mind. There are no students to distract me. There are no questions to occupy my mind and mouth. There are no behavior issues to divert my psyche. There is just raw fear, nerves and doubts.

Perking up at 8:45 am is the hardest part Watching the transition, signaling good-bye to the quiet, empty hallways That is the time when raw fear, nerves and doubts pervade my mind. There are about to be students who distract me There are about to be questions to occupy my mind and mouth There are about to be behavior issues to divert my psyche. There is raw fear, nerves and doubts. Standing up at 9:15 am is the hardest part Directing warm-ups, signaling good-bye to homeroom, breakfast and announcements That is the time when raw fear, nerves and doubts pervade my mind. There are concepts that distract me. There are instructions that occupy my mind and mouth. There are a thousand other issues that divert my psyche. There is no time or place for raw fear, nerves and doubts. Packing up at 11:45 am is the hardest part Gathering exercises, signaling good-bye to another seemingly successful school day That is the time when raw fear, nerves and doubts pervade my mind There are revisions to distract me. There are grades and feedback to occupy my mind and mouth. There is the issue of tomorrow to divert my psyche. There is raw fear, nerves and doubts

Bethany: Did you tell me you were from Alaska like me, or was it someone else? If so, try to imagine Alaska's Denali (Mt. McKinley) on a perfect day, the sun is setting and the majestic mountain is drenched in values of pink and cold blues. Visualize yourself as majestic because to your students, you are! Some days, I feel on top of the world! The next day, lack of sleep and a sinus infection can take me in the opposite direction. Also, I think that once we can indulge in a piece of literature that we are "passionate" about, we will feel more mastery. It is all the busy stuff, benchmarks, schedules, administrative paperwork, etc., that can make us tense. Each day we learn, and that is what matters. I spoke with a teacher of 11 years, and she told me that some days, she loses her edge and nothing goes right. You will do fine, we will do fine! Thank you for your insightful piece. Jody Thomas 3/12/11

Bethany: I love love love this piece! You have conveyed feelings which I have come to know all too well over the past week.(I do have to say the waking up at 6:00am is probably the most difficult :) ) You demonstrated an effective use of repetition. Also, I like how you changed each line within the repetition as well. This shows all the different elements which are running through our heads at different points throughout the day. Great job, and I can't wait to hear about your internship.

Bethany: This was simply lovely.I guess if you know one intern, you know us all. I wake up with the same fears everyday.I keep wondering when will it all go away. I too love your use of the repetition,it shows that these thoughts are so constant throughout the day.I look forward to hearing about your experience. -Natalie Christiani


 * ) I think my note will probably sound a bit redundant, but here it goes. Awesome job. I think you've done a great job articulating what all of us are experiencing at the moment, and I love your use of repetition. Like the comment above noted, it just goes to show that the 'raw fear, nerves, and doubts' are there aaaaall day long. I think this poem is very profound and insightful, and I love how all of us are able to see ourselves in it. Great job! -Adriana Vanderheyden

I really like this, Bethany. I think you do such a great job of articulating just how hard what we're doing is.The "hardest part" is never over. It's just one challenge after the next, and hopefully, we succeed most of the time, and, when we don't, we're humble enough to ask ourselves why and learn from our mistakes. It really is refreshing to read these and see we're all in the same boat. Great work, and I hope your internship is going well! -Lauren

Bethany- I always enjoy reading your writing. This really encompasses what were all experiencing right now. No matter how prepared I think I am when I hear that bell ring for my 3rd period to get to class I get butterflies and instantly nervous. I agree with Adriana I certainly see myself in your poem. Awesome job, I love it! - Lizabeth

Genre Reflection 2

Dear Student, From the very first day that I walked into that first period class, I have had my eye on you. I left there that day scared to death about how I was going to deal with your outbursts and your attitude. I also left there determined not to let you ruin a single one of my lessons or teaching days. I still have a few days left, but so far we seem to have managed to create a good experience. I know that being in 8th grade is not easy. There are so many expectations being heaped upon you, not only about finishing this school year, but also about starting high school. There are so many tests, assemblies, forms and important tidbits to remember, that it is easy to forget that your daily work still matters. How can you go to high school if you fail 8th grade? You can’t and so if you really hate Floyd as much as you say you do, you better get motivated and get it together. There are days when you bounce down the hall, greet me and are so much fun to have in class. Then, the next day, you stalk into the room, mumble a hello and piss on everyone else’s day. I have never known a grumble to convey so much attitude. At the risk of sounding like my mother, do you realize how incredibly rude and childish you appear when you treat people the way you do? They don’t want to be around you, they don’t want to speak to you and they certainly do NOT want to help you. You may think you’re winning by disrupting the class for a few minutes or that you’re funny, making jokes at the expense of others, but in the end, when they are getting off the bus at Osborne or South Cobb, you will continue the ride the same way to have for the last three years; right back to FMS. Who wins then? Certainly not you. Even though knowing prepositions, parts of speech and how to read are important, so is knowing how to treat people, and if there is one thing that you leave my classroom knowing, it is that the way you treat others reflects back on who you are as a person, as a human being. It is easy to be mean; you don’t even have to think about it. What takes effort is helping pass out folders or doing your assignment and then helping others work through what they don’t understand. And those are just little acts of kindness. Just remember that being stubborn, strong-willed and outspoken can be awesome personality traits, but there are limits, and finding them is key. I truly hope that you succeed this year and that you learn from your mistakes. I would hate to see your reputation from FMS follow you to high school, but it is sometimes how things work. The world is small, but the world of education is even smaller. Good luck in high school.

Sincerely, Your TOSS Teacher

I love this letter. I deal with this with a lot of my students as well. They way they speak to each other and treat each other sometimes absolutely shocks me. I knew by Kindergarten, if not earlier, how to treat people. It's sad really. The constant disruptions and inappropriate things that come out of some of my students mouths appall me. Unfortunately, some of them don't learn such necessary things at home or are around verbal abuse and crude language. I will be interested to hear how your time with this student ends. I have my fingers crossed for improvement!!! See you soon -Lizabeth

Bethany: This letter portrays all those words we want to say to some of our students, but it would probably not be a wise decision to do so (in the game of professionalism). I think you make some excellent points in which we make students accountable for their actions in the "real world." Students have to be aware that the way they act now can influence them for life. Bad habits and bad attitudes start now. I know I see of my students, and I just want to stop them and look them in the eye and have them realize how could act more mature in order to better themselves in the long run. Good job, and I can't wait to hear all about your internship!--Ashley

Bethany, I think you bring up such a great point. Teaching doesn't just end when the students master prepositions and parts of speech. Influencing their lives in a positive way may and will include shaping how they interact with people, and care about others, and see things bigger themselves. Yes, the CRCT will test them on prepositions, but life will test them on their abilities to live well with others. And some of these kids simply haven't been trained how to be polite, or how to have manners. These things haven't been modeled for them, and the classroom may be the only place where they get it. That puts a big responsibility on our shoulders, but its certainly one worth pursuing! Wonderful job! -Adriana

Bethany, Your letter covers some great points we all as teachers want to touch when pointing out an individual student who is misbehaving in class. We are all going to encounter that one student that irks our nerves and we all have to learn how to deal with that student. I like how you show concern for the student's future, especially in high school. Great way to show how first impressions are important and how they follow us throughout our lives. More kids need to understand the importance of making a good first impression. LaShelle


 * Genre Reflection, 4/3**

**The Last Day**

Third period, a large inclusion class, is one I never taught They would leave for lunch at the start of the period, and I would leave for the day Despite these facts, on my last day, many of them wanted to know why I was leaving “Why are you abandoning us?” “Can’t you just stay?” “Don’t you want to stay?” Are questions they wanted to know the answers to and I tried to explain My time is up, it is back to KSU full time for me and I would stay if I could I swear it is not y’all, but my program requirements. You’ll be fine. I promise. Clearly that was not a good enough explanation, as Dallas stood up and asked, “Can’t we just trade Ms. McCloud for you? No one likes her anyways!” “Dallas! She is standing right there! Don’t be rude!” My CT tried to hide her laughter and the other students spoke up in agreement McCloud clearly heard him and decided the best course of action was to start yelling The group’s desire now made sense “There are things you feel, but sometimes don’t say.” “She means well and you have to give her a chance.” I tried to reason with them, but they didn’t care I was still surprised that a class I hardly knew wanted me to stay As they filed out the door, I heard Dallas “apologize” to Mrs. McCloud “I’m sorry, but she is just better than you.” “She doesn’t smell like tuna and will actually help me.” “I just wanted the chance to work with someone else.” While being happy that my personal odor is a pleasing one, I felt bad for Mrs. McCloud. Then I realized that teachers make their own relationships with the students And one of the bittersweet things about students is that they always let you know exactly where you stand.

Bethany, I felt the same way on my last day (despite the comment about the odor). Yet, the students exclaimed the same type of remarks: "you have more patience," "you listen to us," "we don't always have worksheets to do when your're here." It broke my heart to hear their voices say these things. My CT just laughed, and she told me how they're just saying these things but they don't mean them. "Don't let them fool you," was one of the first and last things she said to me about the students. However, they do need someone to listen and sympathize with them. Most of the time they just want someone to hear their problems, and what is so wrong with that? You portrayed many of the same feelings and thoughts I had, and the last two lines really resonated with me. Students are smart, and they can tell whether you really care or not. Great job!--Ashley B.

Bethany, I particularly enjoyed this because I felt that it really rang true with me as well. I didn't get to spend as much time in front of my second period class as I would have preferred. But I did get a chance to work at length with many of them, and I was able to really get to know them. So, even though I wasn't standing in front of them 'playing teacher', they were still very adamant about my not leaving on the last day. And I received hugs and sad goodbyes from students that were so shut off from the world that I had to wonder if I impacted them at all. But it just goes to show that some students are so starved for affirmation and a kind smile that they are slow to let it go once they start receiving it. :) You also had me cracking up at the....candidness of the students. Some of these kids really don't have a filter whatsoever. :) Wonderful job! -Adriana