Adriana+Vanderheyden


 * Observations of the Little Boy who Sits in the Back Right Corner**

Despite his short stature, he's hard for me to miss, but in favor of 'more serious cases', the rest still somehow miss him. The boy with the laugh on his face- the braids in his hair- the ready pencil in his hand- But the pencil isn't moving. You see, it never does and that's the problem.

Half the desks are occupied by what appears to be zombies, But he's a breath of fresh air. His disposition is cheerful- His smile contagious- His eyes are aglow- But his paper is still blank, and it will be when he leaves.

He's chosen the 'Great White Shark' for his research paper, and his excitement is catching. “ Ms. V., their teeth are as big as your hand,”- “ Joquese, my hand is as big as your head,”- But when I ask to check his fifty note cards- He hands me a stack of barely fifteen- And it really is the best he can do.

He laughs at all the CT's jokes, and he nods when she asks if the content is clear. Then his name is called out- Joquese, do you know the answer? His eyes become hollow- Then they drop to the floor- Did I mention his paper is still blank?

His face triggers a foggy familiarity, and then it hits me like a ton of bricks. He looks exactly like Jaden Smith- Like my private little //Karate Kid-// But while he's in pursuit of his own //happyness//- The grade book says failing- He very well may break my heart.

I watch as his eyes search the room for mine, and I recognize the plea for help behind them. All I have is three weeks left to make some sort of impact- And more than the Narcoleptic, the Autistic- More than the Angry, and the Shy- Even more than the Emotionally Behaviorally Disturbed- I fear for the little boy who sits in the back right corner.

Adrianna: I feel for you. It must be very frustrating working with a sweet child who becomes "invisible" to many around him. You will do your best with the time you have with this boy. Continue to show him the compassion you have in your heart, but let him know that you have high expectations, even if it a sense of mastery on one small task. He sounds like a "gray" area student. He is not profoundly disabled, but does not function well in a mainstreaming environment either. Locking of eyes is your connection with this boy until the very last day. // Jody Thomas 3/10/11 // I must tell you, I love your writing style. There is something about your word choice that draws me in. I think we can all relate to the situation. We want to get into teaching to, pardon the cliche, TO CHANGE THE WORLD. I think it is the one kid whose life we make a difference in is the reason why we come back every day. You did an excellent job of describing the feelings that we have already felt, or will before we are through with TOSS. Sure, lets change the world...but do it one kid at a time. I hope your students get to experience the genius in your writing. Yesterday, I read to my kids something I wrote, and after the round of applause...I almost got teary...almost. Great job, thanks for sharing!!! Tony :)

Adrianna, I love how you describe this student. As an intern, I feel as though I'm also clinging onto the students that want to make a difference in their eduation but they are hindered in so many ways. It is very important that teachers recognize even the small things about students in order to build their confidence. I am a person that can cry over even the smallest, most simple thing that happens, but I am learning that crying over a student is not what they need. The students need me to be their support and encourage them that they can achieve most anything they put their minds to. Great post, Adrianna. -Molly Davenport

Adriana, this is so so good. I love how you point out all of the obvious concerns, the ones that can't be avoided-- the "autistic," and "emotionally behaviorally disturbed," in contrast with this student who gets overlooked because his issues are not severe enough to take notice. In education, it seems like we teachers have lables for everything-- dyslexic, BD, ADD, ADHD, and the list goes on. So much effort goes into finding the right classroom and medical prescription for these students, but how helpless are we in saving the student who can't articulate what's drowning him/her! It's frustrating, but it's also the challenge that drives us on this path we've chosen. Hopefully, you can be the Mr. Miyagi to your "private little Karate Kid." Or shall we call Mr. Miyagi, Ms. Vanderheyden?... It could catch on. :) - Lauren

Genre Reflection #4
I think this reflection may be a little unusual, but it was what I was feeling. So I went with it. :) Now, keep in mind that the attitudes expressed in this reflection aren't necessarily the way that it is anymore. I feel like this is more illustrative of my first week of teaching. But there has been real progress this week, and I'm already looking forward to writing 'Scene 2' for my next reflection because it will look vastly different from this one. But this was how I was feeling during my first five days, and I felt like it was what I wanted to explore for the purpose of this reflection. The language is occasionally informal, but this is supposed to be a conversation between myself and two thirteen year olds. And I feel it necessary to point out that the opinions expressed may or may not reflect my own, but are supposed to reflect the opinions expressed to me by different students. Okay. I think my preface is done now. :)

//Adriana Vanderheyden: TOSS student; she's trying her best to keep her insecurities from rising to the surface- left with the task of readying her seventh graders the upcoming CRCT. // // First Period: the sort of class any teacher would want- engaging- excited- she knows the material, and she isn't afraid to answer questions. // // Second Period: the sort of class that many teachers will get- disengage- unexcited- he is special needs, and he might get the answer right if he bothered to try. //
 * Characters: **

//The scene opens on the TOSS student sitting at a table with First Period and Second Period. First Period is sitting straight, and she is obviously excited to be there. She is comfortable with the TOSS student, and smiles warmly at her. Second Period is hunched over with his head resting on the tabletop. He may or may not be asleep, but either way, his attitude clearly says that he doesn't want to be there. There is a little bit of tension between First Period and Second Period, but First Period is blissfully ignorant of it. There is also a bit of tension between Second Period and the TOSS student. Unfortunately, both Second Period and the TOSS student are very much aware//.
 * Scene 1 **

**Adriana**: So how are you both doing? You know, with school or even outside of school. **First:** (with a comfortable smile) Pretty good! We had our band concert last night, and we rocked it! **Adriana:** That's awesome. (Turns to Second) Were you at the concert last night? Did it go well? **Second**: (unamused) Are you serious? Why would I be at the band concert? I'm not even in band. **Adriana:** (pauses) Okay. That's perfectly fine. I know band isn't for everyone. So...what sort of things are you interested in? <span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">**Second:** Why? <span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">**Adriana**: Why what? <span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">**Second:** Why do you want to know? <span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">**Adriana**: Oh. Well, I guess the more that I know about you, the easier it is for me to meet you on your level. <span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">**Second**: Believe me. You couldn't meet me on my level. <span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">**Adriana:** I could try. <span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">**Second**: (laughs) You would fail. <span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">**First:** (clearly uncomfortable with the tension) Um...I like Super Mario. And four wheelers. Oh, and soccer. Did you know that I play on one of the teams in the state for girls my age? <span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">**Adriana:** (smiles) Actually, I did know that already. Remember? You and I wrote about it in your journal last week. <span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">**First:** (laughs) Oh yeah! <span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">**Second:** That ain't fair. Why don't we get journals? <span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">**Adriana:** Well, I don't really get to teach your class, so I can't do them with you. <span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">**Second:** (rolls his eyes) Figures. Save the workbook pages for the 'dumb' class. <span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">**Adriana:** (heatedly) You're not the dumb class. Who said that? <span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">**Second:** Nobody has to say to it. They think it pretty loudly. And it's not hard to pick up on it. Our grades may be lower than First Period, but we're not stupid. I can tell pretty easily when someone is talking down to me. <span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">**Adriana:** (pauses) I don't talk down to you. <span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">**Second**: Yeah, whatever. <span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">**Adriana:** (softly) No, not whatever. I don't talk down to you. I try to talk with you, but you don't want to let me. <span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">**Second:** Why should I? <span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">**Adriana:** Because...that's why I'm here. To learn how to be a teacher. To learn how to teach you. <span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">**Second**: (scoffs) Yeah, to learn how to act like the rest of them. <span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">**Adriana**: The rest of who? <span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">**Second:** Them. (nods his head over towards the teachers' table) <span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">**First:** (obviously confused) What's wrong with them? <span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">**Second**: Seriously? <span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">**First:** Yes! They do a good job! <span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">**Second:** Yeah, at teaching you. But you're ahead of the curve. It's not hard to teach you. <span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">**First:** Well, it wouldn't be hard to teach you if you just stopped being so lazy! <span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">**Second:** Shut up! Laziness doesn't have anything to do with it. <span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">**Adriana:** Guys, calm down. <span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">**First:** Yes, it does. You just sit there staring off into space, and then you throw a fit when you fail. What were you expecting? To pass? You're reading at a third grade reading level. Simple sentences still confuse you! Were you hoping for an 'A' for effort? Cuz you don't put any in, so you can throw that out the window. <span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">**Second:** I said shut up! You don't know what you're talking about! And you! (turns and points at Adriana) Don't come in here acting like you're different than everybody else. In two weeks, you'll be gone. And things won't be any different. So just quit pretending like you care or like you're interested! <span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">**Adriana**: But I am interested. <span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">**Second**: Oh okay. <span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">**Adriana:** (disregards the obvious sarcasm) And I do care. Really. (Met with silence) When I ask you how you're doing or how your weekend went, it isn't so that I can fulfill some obligation. And when I walk around, and whisper to you that I like your new haircut or that I think your new shoes are cool, it isn't so that I can check it off some to-do list. And when I make it a priority to remember that your favorite team is Clemson, and that your sister's name is Kelsey, it isn't so that I can make myself feel better. It's because I want to try to reach you wherever you're at, and I want to do that as best I can. Because I do honestly care. I want to you succeed, and I know you can because I've seen what you're capable of. I've never once, not once, ever, thought of you as dumb or stupid or less than capable. In fact, when you finally break down, and seek me out for help, I know deep down that I'm learning more from you than I do from First Period. (pauses to let her words sink in) And when you go from 'It doesn't make sense' to 'Oh, now I get it', I feel more like a teacher than I ever have before. I'm just trying to get past this...wall that you've built. <span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">**Second:** (stops for a moment, and then speaks barely above a whisper) I didn't build it all by myself. <span style="color: #000000; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">**<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;">Adriana: **(pauses)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"> I know.

Adriana: WoW! This is a wonderful piece, and one that I can certainly relate too. Although teachers or students may not explicitly say, "this is the slow class" or "this is the below-level class" to their face--they know it. The thing is they are tired of being treated different from all the other students or classes. MY CT's first period is a gifted class and then she has a "lower-level" class as she calls them. However, I absolutely loved her second period! They were so funny and engaged with what I had to teach them! It hurts that our students put up those "walls," but I think we can go into a classroom ready to get past those obstacles! Great job!-Ashley


 * Genre Reflection #5**


 * For my final reflection, I thought that I would go with the ever popular letter. Ordinarily, it isn't particularly my thing, but the last week of my internship left me with quite a few things to say. And sometimes, a letter is the place to do it. I've split my reflection up into two specific letters- one to the students, and one to the CT. I have very different sentiments that I would like to express.**

To my CT,

Thank you. I suppose that is the most appropriate way to begin. I want to thank you for allowing me the opportunity to step into your classroom, and disrupt the rhythm that you've worked hard to create this year. I want to thank you for allowing me the freedom to teach your students in a way that reflects my own creativity and my occasional tendencies towards the dramatic. I want to thank you for giving me ample room to foster healthy relationships with your students that helped me to more aptly teach them, but more importantly, helped them to more easily teach //me//. I so appreciated that. And I want to thank you for making me feel welcome at the start, and in doing so, helped me to boost my confidence as a teacher (even if at the time, you weren't aware of how hard you would later work to overturn it). That being said, there are more things that I would like to thank you for. I want to thank you for teaching me that plans can change overnight, and that personalities can as well. This particular lesson will stay with me for always. And I would like to thank you for showing me the value of qualities like fairness, tact, and humility by not always exemplifying them. I tried my level best to see everything as a challenge, and I'd like to think that I passed the 'test'. My experience was an //exper//ience//,// and at the end of the day, I've come to better understand the sort of teacher that I want to be, and will be. And wasn't that the point to begin with? In spite of everything, for good or for bad, you taught me. And I'm thankful for that as well.

Signed, Adriana

To my students,

Thank you. I suppose that is the most appropriate way to begin. It seems like a lifetime ago that I walked into your classroom, introduced myself, and was rewarded with twenty untrusting scowls and three or four welcoming smiles. Especially considering the fact that on my last day, K'Mani tried to lead all of you in a toe-tapping chorus of '//Goodbye, Ms. Vanderheyden'//, a song that he was making up on the spot. This entire experience has been extremely difficult and extremely rewarding, and is therefore wonderful in my eyes for those two reasons. And there is not a cloud of doubt in my mind that you all were the very best part of every day. You made me laugh, even when laughing probably wasn't the most appropriate 'teacher' thing to do. You made me want to cry, but most often, for joy. You made me gain a much healthier appreciation for grammar concepts because I had to teach them to you. And now that I'm gone, can I be the tiniest bit transparent, and admit that I'm not as wildly excited about sentence structure as I led you to believe? Confession is good for the soul, they say. You even forced your teacher to re-evaluate some of her opinions. When I proposed utilizing poetry as a means of engaging the grammar in a specific context, she more or less argued that for you all, poetry was a moot point because 1. I didn't have time to incorporate it, and 2. You all simply wouldn't enjoy it. But it seems like you and I enjoy rising to the occasion because 1. I found time to use Roald Dahl to teach sentence structure, and E.E. Cummings to teach Pronoun-Antecedent Agreement, and 2. At the end of the poem, you said "That was awesome! Can you read it again?" As much as I'd like to think that I successfully taught you all, I think it is much more appropriate to say that all of you taught me. You taught me that students //really// do come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, and that if I value you, I have to accept all of your charming idiosyncrasies. And some of those quirks were the things I loved the most. You helped me to really ground my belief that all of you are vital members of this classroom community, and that it is crucial that I give you room and freedom to express your own voice in this space. You've helped to really grasp just how important it is for me to accept responsibility as your teacher, and to afford you opportunities to engage with your learning in ways that make you smile. You taught me to always try to have faith in students, especially when the first thing you hear about a student is 'Don't bother with that one" because those are the ones who will surprise you the most. Yes, Stephan. I'm talking to you. In spite of all of rough patches that I had to undergo in the course of the past two months, I've seen walls come down and hands shoot up. And even though your responses weren't always correct, you and I both learned that incorrect doesn't //always// mean wrong. You made my first day exciting. You made my last day bittersweet. And you made every day in between an adventure. I hope with everything that I am that I was able to do right by all of you.

Sincerely, Ms. Vanderheyden (a.k.a. Ms. V., Ms. Vanderhayven, and Ms. Vander...what is it again?)